so over the course of sxsw 2018 i was heckled and applauded, to varying degrees and equal measure. it was a mess, but not nearly as messy as i’ve seen the festival in years past.

i keep not wanting to write about this story, but it’s the one that sticks out from SX. it was one of the long nights at HandleBar, maybe a thursday, though it could have easily been a tuesday. actually i think it was the tuesday before music officially started, but i could be totally wrong because those weeks all sort of ran together for me.

anyway it’s a night where i’m basically doing a continuous mixed set for six hours. i think my start-time that day was 8pm. so a straight 8-2am run. see i’m already making excuses. but basically i got called out by an incoming trio of girls in an, “alright dj, do something impressive” manner. and they were badge-y, and their immediate musical request was beyonce, but it was a valid ego check. i’m a performer of sorts. when faced with someone, anyone really, arms crossed looking at me and saying, “do some dj shit.” shouldn’t i be able to do something impressive? i didn’t really do anything to please them, i just continued with my set. i want to say the next song i played was lakeside, but i’m not sure. and they eye-rolled and rolled out after a side-eye or two. and it stung, i have to admit. because i’d let them down by not having my 15-minute showcase ready and on point. that’s what i carried into the remaining five hours and thirty minutes of that set. i know all sort of things must have happened that night, i met dozens of people, played all the musical genres i enjoy, and watched drunken revelry and tides of people flow through the club for six hours and change. but i just remember the eye-roll. or rather i keep remembering the eye-roll.

the pendulum can swing viciously between, “you are killing it right now,” and, “um, what are you doing.”